


I Still Like You

by Fangirlwriting



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Asexual Christine Canigula, Cuddling & Snuggling, F/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, movies - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-09-23 02:05:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17071412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fangirlwriting/pseuds/Fangirlwriting
Summary: Jeremy and Christine have been dating for a while now, but they still don’t exactly feel like a normal couple.  The reason why can be summed up in something that every single other couple in existence seems to do (at least, that’s what it feels like to Jeremy)— they never kiss.





	I Still Like You

Jeremy and Christine hadn’t kissed.

Hard to believe?  Yeah. Confusing as all hell?  Yes, especially to Jeremy. He had dreamed about kissing Christine since middle school, but Christine seemed to have no desire to do so and when Jeremy thought about it, he didn’t either.  Not anymore. But he had no idea what the hell had happened. He couldn’t even blame the Squip, because even when they had been fully functioning he had still wanted to kiss Christine, really badly.

Hell, the Squip had to stop him from masturbating so many times!  He still did _that_ sometimes, so what was the deal?

Everyone else probably thought they had kissed at this point.  Everyone had teased Jeremy about it numerous times, especially Jake and Michael.  And yeah, Jeremy went bright red whenever they did so, but not for the reasons they thought.

He brought it up one time when Christine and him were watching a movie, cuddling on his bed, because they did _that_ a lot too.

“Do you think there’s something wrong with us?” he said quietly.

Christine glanced over.  “What are you talking about?” she asked, sounding genuinely concerned.

“Normal couples kiss.  Jake and Rich kiss all the goddamn time, and it’s disgustingly adorable.  All those couples we pass in the hallways that kiss each other, they’re— well, I don’t why they have to do it in the hallway, but still.  I—” Jeremy went bright red. “I used to want to kiss you all the time. It was all I used to think about.”

“And do you want to kiss me now?” Christine asked, sounding a little uncomfortable, but also like she was offering.

Jeremy looked over, trying hard to imagine kissing Christine, and was suddenly stuck by a massive stab of panic.  He shoved her off of him before he could think about what he was doing and scrambled backwards on the bed.

“Woah, woah!” Christine called.  “Jeremy, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”

Jeremy shook his head hard and managed to clear it a little bit, but he was still breathing hard because yeah.

Oh.

That was what was wrong.

He shook his head hard.  “No I really really don’t.” he said quickly, and his breath was still catching in between each inhale.  He felt tears starting to well in his eyes, and Christine moved a little closer, being careful not to touch him (because that was apparently what had set this off), which Jeremy was grateful for.

“Okay.” Christine said gently.  “Jeremy, we don’t have to kiss if you don’t want to kiss.  You don’t have to panic about it.”

“But if you want to then—”

“I don’t.” Christine interrupted, and Jeremy looked up.

“Huh?” he asked.

“I’m not— I’m not entirely sure what it is, but when I think about kissing someone or—” she swallowed hard.  “—Or having sex with someone, I feel really… icky. Like, gross.”

“Oh.” Jeremy said, still trying to catch his breath.  “I think there might be a word for that.”

“I don’t know if I want to know.” Christine whispered, and she sounded almost sad.  “Like, that stuff is what you’re supposed to do in a relationship. I’m supposed to want to have sex.” Christine looked like she was about to cry now too.  “I want to be a mother someday. How am I supposed to do that if I never have sex?”

“There are other options,” Jeremy said, as his breathing finally calmed down.  “Donor stuff, or like— that thing where someone else carries the baby.”

“Surrogacy.”

“Yeah.  That.”

“Okay.  Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Christine said slowly.  She still sounded a little upset, but better. “I just— I don’t know what this is.  If there’s something wrong with me, if I need help. I just know that I really don’t want to kiss you.” she had started to cry.  “But I still like you. That’s so weird.”

“No it’s not.” Jeremy said, sure at least of that much.  “That’s less weird than my thing.”

Christine wiped at her eyes.  “What’s your thing?”

Jeremy’s breath caught again, and Christine seemed to pick up on that.  “It’s okay.” she said. “You don’t have to tell me.”

“Remember Halloween?” Jeremy blurted.

Christine sighed.  “Which part? The part where I was ignored by my date the whole time, the part where I rejected you, or the part with the house fire?”

“Uh— none of that, actually.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, um—“ Jeremy stopped.  How was he supposed to get this out?  It was so embarrassing. But Christine had told him her thing.

“Okay, do you know the rumor thing about me cheating on Brooke?”

“Yes.  Is that what this is about?  Do you just feel guilty?”

“No, uh— I mean, yes, but—” Jeremy took a deep breath.  “So, Chloe told me that Brooke had a surprise for me, and we went upstairs to Jake’s parents room.”

“Okay…” Christine said slowly.

“And—” Jeremy’s breath was starting to quicken again.

“Jeremy?” Christine said.  She offered her hand in front of her, and Jeremy took it.  She squeezed it hard, and it calmed him down enough that he could keep going.

“And she basically wanted to have sex with me.  And I didn’t want to, because that would be cheating on Brooke, but I had the Squip at that time and it kinda—”

He could see Christine catching on as her face filled with horror.

“It kinda made me, um, make out with her and—” Jeremy was starting to cry again.  “I couldn’t, like, stand up or tell her to stop or—”

“Jeremy—” Christine put a hand over her mouth.  “Chloe _raped_ you?”

“No!” Jeremy burst out.  “No, we never actually got that far!  And she didn’t know about the Squip and guys can’t even get raped.”

“Woah, wait, Jeremy—“

“But now when I think about kissing someone I kind of think about that, and— yeah, and I think that’s more weird than your thing, because I was supposed to like making out with someone, but—”

“Okay, _woah._  First of all, guys can absolutely get raped.  And even if you never got that far, you are not ‘supposed to like’ anything.”

“You literally just told me you’re supposed to like sex.”

“Uh… okay, touché.  But my point stands, that if someone forces you to make out with them, it is not your fault and it definitely does not make you weird for not liking it.  It is perfectly understandable that you don’t want to kiss anyone after that.”

Jeremy looked down and started playing with his hands.

“Jeremy, I’m serious.  That was Chloe’s fault, not yours.”

“It wasn’t Chloe’s fault!” Jeremy protested.  “She didn’t know about the Squip, and she was drunk!”

“That does not excuse her behavior.  Has she even apologized?”

Jeremy nodded timidly.  “Yeah. Like a billion times.  Brooke got the two of us to talk when we were studying at her house one day.  She looked really guilty.”

Christine sighed.  “Well, that’s something I guess.”  She still felt fairly angry, but could you really blame her?

“Jeremy?”

Jeremy looked up.

“It is not your fault, okay?  And we don’t ever have to kiss, especially if you’re not okay with it.”

“You too.” Jeremy said.  “You have to be okay with it too.  That’s a two-way street, Christine.”

“Oh, just like it should have been with Chloe?”

That shut him up.

“But… I see the point you’re making.  If someday we’re okay with kissing, fine.  But right now, we can cuddle and hold hands, and that’s just as good.  Okay?”

Jeremy smiled, and Christine smiled back.  “Yeah, okay.” he said.

“Are you okay with cuddling right now?”

In response, Jeremy curled up and held up his arm so Christine could nestle into his side, and they both rewinded the movie to where they were before their conversation had started.

“Hey, Christine?”

“Yeah?”

“Whether we kiss or not, I still like you.”

“I still like you too, Jeremy.”

**Author's Note:**

> Like, comment, subscribe— wait no, that’s YouTube.


End file.
